Consumers to Big Beer: Your Beer Sucks
The brewing industry is reeling from its declining sales – could it be that there is just not as much demand for beer as there used to be? Well, before we jump to any CRAZY conclusions, let’s take a look at the current state of beer sales.
According to Advertising Age, all of the top 11 brands showed a decline in sales from mid-April to mid-May. This includes ultra-heavyweights Bud Light, Coors Light and Miller Light, which have been experiencing an ongoing decline in sales.
In fact, only four of the top 30 brands actually posted an increase in sales – an eclectic mix including Yuengling, Keystone Light, Modelo Especial and PBR.
So why is this happening? The most obvious answer would be that due to unemployment and the general state of the economy, people have cut beer out of their budgets. Likewise, if beer is seen as a special purchase, the consumer is far less likely to be buying Bud Light or Miller Light – because, let’s face it, you can do better. There is a further possibility that as beer from smaller breweries becomes more widespread and less expensive, it becomes an increasingly appealing option for just a dollar or two more.
Well, you can bet that “Big Beer” won’t take this sitting down – drawing on their tremendous corporate resources, they will find new and ingenius ways to stimulate new interest in their products, right? Right?? Well, let’s take a look at what the “Big Beer” companies have planned in response.
What have the brewers of Bud and Bud Light been up to recently? Well, they tried to sell us on the “drinkability” of Bud Light (read: “wateriness, blandness”). Also, they released “Bud Light Golden Wheat” and “Bud Light Lime” on the unsuspecting public. The problem? It’s still Bud Light. Fortunately, A-B has a few more tricks up their sleeve – namely, a 15 story hot air balloon shaped like a Bud Select 55 bottle that will travel around to various festivals over the summer and also a new ad campaign under the “Here We Go” tagline. That ought to do it.
MillerCoors has chosen to focus on “product innovations” that are intended to convince you of how good their beer tastes, without actually doing anything to improve the taste directly. Miller Light will feature a new “Vortex Bottle” which aerates the beer as it pours, allegedly unlocking flavors and aromas that would be missing if you just poured it without the benefit of “Vortex” technology.
Meanwhile, Coors Light 12-Packs will feature a “window” that allows consumers to peer in at temperature-sensitive color-changing bottles to see if they are cold. (Alternatively, you could just grab a bottle and see if it feels cold enough).
Finally, MillerCoors has yanked its Coors Light “Coach’s Press Conference” commercials during football season, citing “extreme consumer dissatisfaction” with the idiocy of the advertisements.
Actually, just kidding, you’re stuck with those. You can voice your protest by never buying Coors EVER.