Here at J. Frankfurter’s Place Of Business, summer is truly here with the arrival of this year’s crop of summer associates, AKA 2nd year law students who work at the firm all summer, pick up a fat paycheck and get efficiently wined and/or dined by a sampling of lawyers at the firm. Yes, “Summer Lunchin'” has commenced, and I am reminded of the classic song from one of America’s most beloved musicals
Summer Lunchin’ – had me a blast
Summer Lunchin’ – happened so fast
went to Nobu, ate langoustine
it was free, if you know what I mean
For summer associates, this is a chance to get out and try all those expensive restaurants that you heard were good but could never really afford. For associates, it is a chance to get out and have a decent meal after shoveling lunch into your mouth while seated at your desk all winter. In honor of this joyous season, I present a short field guide for summer associates who will be doing lots of summer lunchin’ over the next month or two:
1) “$50 Supp.” means $50 in addition to what the meal costs. Best to look elsewhere
2) Learn to use chopsticks. Alternatively, avoid splashing soy sauce all over associates with your poor chopstick skills
3) Don’t sign up for lunch at an all-sushi restaurant if you don’t eat sushi, or sign up for lunch at a steakhouse if you are opposed to eating beef.
4) Don’t insist on ordering dessert and/or coffee when it is clear that no one else at the table is doing so and it will extend the meal by 20+ minutes.
5) Don’t check your Blackberry 50 times during the meal. It is highly unlikely that something is so pressing that you have to respond to it within minutes.
6) Sweetbreads are neither sweet nor bread
7) if you guzzle ice teas, you will spend the afternoon peeing
8) if the associate who is taking you out picked the restaurant, keep your opinions to yourself regarding the quality of the food, the size of the portions and service.
9) lunches with partners are more likely to include wine or beer, but correspondingly the odds of awkward and uncomfortable conversations are increased
10) No matter how fancy the restaurant, the ice tea tastes pretty much the same as every other restaurant
11) Just about any 3+ course meal will put you in a food coma, even if you ordered the salad and the fish.
12) if you consider yourself a “foodie,” or something similar, find the associates who share your interests – otherwise, you will end up going to Del Frisco’s again and again.
13) your breadplate is on the left (good advice for anyone)
14) It is not okay to order only a tiny salad and just sit there the rest of the meal. You can do that at your desk, all winter long.
15) Don’t turn up your nose at restaurants that do not get rave reviews – lunch at Mars 2112 could be a lot more fun than a stuffy 3 hour lunch at a 3-star restaurant.
16) Go to the outer boroughs whenever possible. That is where the real food is, for cheap.